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8 Things You Should and Shouldn't Expect at SiiickXSW Warehouse Party

EXPECT: John Dwyer Mic Fellatio

Anyone who has ever seen Thee Oh Sees visceral live show can’t deny that frontman John Dwyer likes wrapping his lips around the microphone the same way he wraps his lips around Dick’s hamburgers anytime he rolls through Seattle (Ask him about it, if you dare deny my claims). Alas, there will be no Dick’s in Austin, so John Dwyer is gonna be sucking off that microphone like a champ.


Good To The Last Drop

DON’T EXPECT: A Visit From The APD

Last year’s inaugural SiiickXSW brought the heat (and we aren’t talking about the weather) to the original location, shutting it down after only one band had played, causing CMRTYZ to scramble for an adequate replacement venue. An hour later, a new backyard location was secured. Though it wasn’t met without technical difficulties (too many amps, not enough juice). most of the bands scheduled to play whipped the dirt-laden and body-strewn yard into an urgent mess with Texas, until the fuzz returned to shut down Quintron at the end of the night.

EXPECT: Girl Crushes On The Men of TacocaT and Detective Agency

While men will certainly fawn over these babe-dominated Seattle bands, ladies and gay men will find their little hearts swooning over each band’s sole male members (Eric Randall and Nate Kruz, respectively), who are righteously boner-ific themselves.

DON’T EXPECT: Swimming Pool

While a swimming pool was originally in the cards for this year’s SiiickXSW, for legal and party-conducive purposes, we’ve had to take the measure of hiring a fire marshall so the cops don’t spoil our fun (see above). Because of that extra cost, we no longer have the funds to rent a swimming pool (unless something magical happens after this blog is posted, which would be cool and unexpected). The silver lining: You can still bring a kiddie pool!

EXPECT: SURPRISE GUESTS

Oh, you thought we’d just announce it right here, didn’t ya? SORRY! We can’t tell you who else is playing (BECAUSE I DON’T EVEN KNOW), but you can be sure that what Carlos, Ty, and Peter have in store is totally gonna blow your punk-ass out of the water (see above).

DON’T EXPECT: To Know A Single Word Of Any Of Grave Babies Song

Coming from Seattle, I’ve seen Grave Babies countless times, and talked in-depth with the band about their music (and other things). Yet, aside from the chorus to “Blood,” I still can’t distinguish a single word through their goo-splattered reverb. Lead member Danny Wahlfedt told me that even he sometimes forgets his lyrics, creating streamline vocal tones through the austral filter that no one would bat a lash to. That’s not to dismiss the fact that Grave Babies write some incredibly catchy goth-pop songs that you’ll still be humming as you retreat to your cave.


I Hear Voices

EXPECT: Canadians to Party Harder Than You

Any excuse that Canadians have to party, and they will party…hard. This year Canada will be represented by Dead Ghosts, Chains of Love, Ketamines, and last but not least, Manic Attracts, whose only scheduled performance in Austin last year was snuffed by the cops shutting down shop early (see above). These friendly neighbors to the North rage with such unbridled enthusiasm for the experience, it makes everyone else on hipster spring break seem tame by comparison. And if there’s a skateboard around, you’ll know some shit is seriously gonna go down. Those dudes in Vancouver rip.

DON’T EXPECT: To Recognize Anyone In Bare Wires Aside From Matthew Melton

Despite going through numerous line-up changes, Bare Wires’ Matthew Melton has kept his hands tight on the wheel of a trusty, well-oiled glam-scum machine that shows no signs of breaking down. But breaking up, that’s what Melton knows how to do best (see song below). Aside from Melton, that band you see in the Bare Wires cover photo or music video could very well not be the band you see live. Last time I saw them, Apache was playing drums. Who will it be this time?!

 

 

See y’all Thursday!

<3<3<3 and KIZZEZ,
Travis Ritter

 

 

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