10 things to consider for Valentines. A reality check.

Sarah Roach and myself have rendered a list of why Valentines Day sucks. Guys always think the heats on them, but guess what? Girls have to fabricate their interest in the odd cliches for the night, and sometimes, it’s overkill. Plus we felt like ranting for a moment. Soak it all in.

1. I don’t do chocolate, cavities are a serious business. [AH]

2. I ain’t wearing trashy lingerie for you sucka. What do I look like? [AH]

3. I don’t like formal dates. [AH]

4. You should treat me like this everyday. [ROACH]

5. How come you don’t clean? [AH]

6. Everyone that goes out on Valentines are a bunch of sappy larry’s. [ROACH]

7. Every kiss begins with kay my ass- I hate heart shaped jewelry [AH]

8. “Diamonds will render her speechless” slogan means “this will shut your broad up” [ROACH]

9. Don’t even think about cubic zirconias mang. [AH]

10. All the girls in middle school with the big boobs who got all the Valentines Day cards are all fat now. [ROACH]

For the record, we aren’t single or miserable, but just wanted to touch on some key points here. If you sensitives out there may take offense, I will go ahead and utilize the wise words of Christopher Wool:

XO Ayumi and Roach.

For the full rant & other nonsense see more at Obey Womens Blog.